Recently, while talking with someone about civic and social groups, she made a comment that stuck with me.
She said she didn’t think there were people there who were similar to her.
That got the thoughts in my head going.
Remember high school? The jocks hung out with the jocks, the nerds with the nerds, and the girl cliques…well, we won’t even go there.
But did we really outgrow those cliques, or did we just give them more grown-up names?
As adults, we naturally spend time with people who share our interests. We join political groups around a cause, become friends with parents at our kids’ activities, or connect with people in the same profession.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
The problem comes when our comfortable circles become walls.
We can divide ourselves by profession, income, age, gender, race, ethnicity, politics, or any number of labels. But if we walk into a room assuming there isn’t anyone “like us,” how will we ever discover who is actually there?
And why does someone have to be like us to become a friend?
Adult Friendships Are Hard Enough
Most adults will tell you they have a pretty small circle of true friends outside their family.
Move to a new town, retire from a career, or start a business, and meeting new people becomes even harder.
Yet we sometimes make it harder on ourselves by walking into a room looking for the adult version of our high school lunch table.
Some of the most interesting people I’ve met have completely different backgrounds, careers, ages, and experiences from mine.
That’s what makes them interesting.
The same applies to business. Your next customer, referral partner, mentor, or opportunity might come from someone you never expected to meet.
So maybe the next time you walk into a room and think, “There aren’t any people here like me,” don’t leave.
Stay.
Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t.
Ask a question.
Find out what you actually have in common.
We’re not in high school anymore. We don’t need assigned lunch tables.
And some of the best friendships and opportunities might be waiting just outside the clique we’ve built around ourselves.
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