Competition and the Comparison Trap: What Are You Really Looking At?

Today, I found myself looking around at some of my competition. From the outside, they seem to be doing pretty well. And I’ll admit—it got in my head for a minute.

• Why are they doing better than me?
• Why did they land that contract?
• How did they get to build that website?
• Why did they win that bid instead of me?

It’s so easy to fall into that comparison trap—to look at someone else’s success and immediately feel like you’re falling short. We start to question our value, our talent, even our purpose.

Their company must be better than mine.
They got the job I wanted, the client I hoped for. What am I doing wrong?

But instead of letting that become a spiral of self-doubt, I’ve learned to stop and reframe it. Because here’s the truth: competition isn’t the enemy. It’s a mirror. And sometimes that mirror just shows you what you need to adjust.

So instead of sitting in that place of envy, ask yourself:

• When’s the last time you updated your website? When did they last update theirs?
• How active are they on social media? What platforms are they using—TikTok? YouTube? LinkedIn?
• Are you showing up where your audience is? Are you creating content consistently? Are you telling your story?
  

If you’re not doing the same things, it’s not fair to expect the same results.

It’s kind of like looking at your fit friend who just posted a picture from their latest 5K, looking all toned and happy. And you’re sitting there thinking, Well, I could never do that—I’m so out of shape. But let’s be real: did they get that way eating brownies, drinking milkshakes at noon, downing a bag of chips during Zoom calls, and scrolling Facebook from the couch all evening?

Chances are—no.
They’re waking up early. They’re hitting the treadmill. They’re drinking protein shakes, taking vitamins, and cutting back on junk. They’re putting in the effort.

So if I’m not where I want to be—physically or professionally—I have to ask: What am I actually doing? Not what I wish I were doing. Not what I used to do. What am I doing right now?

It’s the same with business. If you’re not showing up, not pushing yourself to improve, not staying current, not marketing consistently—then it makes sense that the results aren’t coming. But the good news is: that’s all in your control.

So the next time you find yourself staring at someone else’s success, don’t let it defeat you. Let it motivate you.

• Don’t just compare outcomes—compare inputs.
• Don’t envy the 5K medal if you haven’t trained.
• Don’t stress about the contract they won if you haven’t put yourself out there.

Competition can be a guide, not a threat. Use it. Learn from it. Level up.

You might not run that 5K tomorrow—but you can start walking today.

“The problem with success is that it doesn’t teach you very much.
In my career, I’ve found that success is often anti-growth. You lose sight of all the ‘little mistakes’ through the cloud of success. It’s easy to get puffed up. Maybe a little arrogant. I fell into this from time to time.
But failure, discomfort, challenges…these are the times when you grow. Don’t hide your failure in the closet, lock the doors, and try to move past it. Instead, put your failure on the table, ruminate over it, and struggle with it. Diagnose it over and over. Talk with others about it.

Ask yourself:
• What could I have done better?
• How could I have brought a different outcome?
• What behaviors, learnings, and new practices can I take away from it?”

In short, learn from it. Grow from it.

CV