I’m Not the Fattest Girl at the Party — And Other Unsustainable Goals

Have you ever set a goal that sounds impressive but has absolutely nothing to do with your actual growth, success, or values?

Goals like:

• “I want to be the richest in my industry.”
• “I want the most followers.”
• “I’ll never eat chocolate again.”
• “I don’t want to be the fattest girl in the room.”
  

These aren’t goals—they’re comparisons dressed up as ambitions. And the truth is, they’re not only unsustainable, they’re often not even in your control.

• You will not always be the most visible brand.
• You will not always have the most subscribers.
• You will not always rank first on Google.
• Your price will not always be the lowest

You will not always be the thinnest, or the trendiest, or the most anything.

Why? Because those outcomes depend on other people. And when your success relies on someone else’s status or behavior, you’ve built your motivation on a very shaky foundation.

---

The Trap of Comparison Goals

We often fall into the trap of “comparison goals”—benchmarks that are only meaningful in contrast to others. They can feel oddly satisfying to set, but they’re nearly impossible to maintain. And more importantly, they rarely serve your actual purpose.

• They don’t help you build.
• They don’t help you connect.
• They don’t help you grow in ways that matter.

I call them “torture goals.” You know the ones:

• “I’ll never eat dessert again.”
• “I’ll always have the most clients.”

These goals sound noble at first, but they’re punishing and unrealistic. Life is unpredictable. Events come up. Holidays happen. A cookie finds its way into your hand. And suddenly, you feel like a failure for not being perfect.

But perfection was never the point.

So, What Is the Point?

A goal should be something that starts and ends with you. Your behavior. Your choices. Your consistency. Goals that work look more like:

• “I’ll walk a mile every day.”
• “I’ll write and publish one blog post a week.”
• “I’ll send five handwritten thank-you notes to past clients this month.”
• “I’ll distribute more flyers around town.”
  

These are measurable, actionable, and—most importantly—sustainable. They don’t rely on someone else doing worse than you. They rely on you doing what you said you’d do.

And yes, SMART goals matter:

Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Relevant. Time-bound.

But even before that, ask yourself: Does this goal serve my life? Will it add to my wellbeing, my business, my creativity, my peace of mind?

Success That Lasts

Long-term success isn’t built on being better than someone else. It’s built on being better than you were yesterday. That’s not always flashy, but it’s real. And real growth lasts.

So no, I’m not comparing weight at the party anymore. I’m just trying to be the one who shows up, sticks to her values, and leaves proud of the effort she made.