Why humans often hesitate to ask for help?

I have had my fair share of days spent struggling for hours, resorting to the ‘as seen on YouTube’ tech support method, investing a significant amount of time and effort. The resulting frustration often exacerbates the malfunctioning of components or systems, ultimately leading to higher expenses compared to what I would have initially incurred with proper assistance. I tell myself things like, ‘I am smart; I can figure this out,’ believing that if I cannot, it is a direct reflection on some great human IQ test I may fail in the future. There have been instances where I have spent money on items that could have been acquired for free had I simply not purchased at all had I asked for advice.

Recently, I bought a chainsaw. I went out, used it, and had a great time. I loved my little electric chainsaw. However, it suddenly stopped working. I took it apart, removed the chain and the bar, charged the battery, and drove two hours to finally return it. I purchased another chainsaw, came home, and to my surprise, when I got the new chainsaw home, it wouldn’t start or run. I actually read the directions this time and found out that I needed to pull forward the safety brake. It turns out that the same safety brake was on, and my first chainsaw was never broken. I had just returned it, all because I did not want to read the instructions or call customer support to troubleshoot the issue. My inability to ask for help has cost me time, effort, and money once again.

This raises a fundamental life question: Why do humans frequently hesitate to seek help? Many place a high value on self-reliance and independence, viewing help-seeking as a sign of weakness. The fear of being judged or perceived negatively by others can also be a significant deterrent. Vulnerability comes into play as well, as seeking help can make people feel exposed or uncomfortable sharing their problems. Social stigma, particularly concerning mental health or personal issues, can discourage individuals from reaching out. Misplaced pride and the belief that they should handle everything alone can hinder help-seeking efforts. Additionally, lack of awareness about available resources, past negative experiences with unhelpful responses, and the perception of help-seeking as time-consuming can further contribute to hesitancy. 

I am glad I cannot begin to calculate the cost to my business that these misguided beliefs have had. It would be far too overwhelming and depressing. I have now come up with at least one new rule: if it takes an hour and I can not figure it out, I have to call someone.